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Turkey Teeth

by The Humdrum Express

/

about

“A tale of the misaligned molar masses and their search for crooked corrective cuspids, overseas on a budget.”

lyrics

Well, the airport décor’s dated, in need of restyling
There’s a sombre look from those in the queue, as if they’re scared of smiling
Even early morning pre flight booze can’t provide relief
As they board the flight to Istanbul - to get their Turkey teeth

On a cut-price crowns charter to foreign lands
Clutching photographs of Rylan in their hands

The Tik Tok trending peer pressure for crooked corrective cosmetics
Inspires the need for the biggest, brightest dental prosthetics
A Hollywood smile at a discount price seems like money well spent
Because a Hollywood smile is just what you need when you live in
Stoke-on-Trent!

On a cut-price crowns charter to foreign lands
Clutching photographs of Rylan in their hands

Give Us A Smile! Pearly White! Give Us A Smile! Ultra Bright!
Give Us A Smile! Pearly White! Give Us A Smile! Ultra Bright!

They’ve all booked serious over sizing – bigger than they need
Their incisors to be shaved into points and, boy, it’s gonna bleed!
Dining on soup for the next six weeks, drinking through straws
They’re not helping themselves if they want to lose their playground
Nickname, ‘Jaws’

On a cut-price crowns charter to foreign lands
Clutching photographs of Rylan in their hands

The procedure didn’t go to plan, catastrophic complications
An agonising abscess necessitates need for root canal operations
Unbearable pain, sensitive nerves, flying home in tears
While the NHS are left to pick up the pieces from your bargain bin veneers

On a cut-price crowns charter from foreign lands
Clutching compensation claim forms in their hands

Give Us A Smile! Pearly White! Give Us A Smile! Ultra Bright!
Give Us A Smile! Pearly White! Give Us A Smile! Ultra Bright!

credits

released January 26, 2024
Recorded at Claptrap the Venue, Stourbridge (with thanks to Sean Lloyd)
Mixed and produced by Mick Lown at Hillgrove Heights

Ian Passey - Vocals
Carl Bayliss - Drums
Andrew Boswell - Bass
Brendan Moran - Guitar
Rich Payne - Guitar

© Ian Passey 2024

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The Humdrum Express Kidderminster, UK

Regularly championed by BBC 6 Music and famed for withering critique, The Humdrum Express breezily delivers offbeat observation, social commentary and sharp wit; fused with familiar cultural references, surreal characters and subtle puns.

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