Leopard Print Onesie

by The Humdrum Express

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Taken from the 2016 album, The Day My Career Died.


Stuck scriptwriters pen the return of an old soap rogue
In a desperate bid to revive interest and boost ratings
It’s FA Cup weekend... When stand in pundits criticise managers
For fielding reserves
Join us tonight at 9, as we take a nostalgic look back to when times were similarly poor
But the music was much better…
Bertrand Russell, Isaac Newton, Pythagoras, Einstein… Joey Barton

Inspiring the next generation…

Radio callers gloat about listening to the show everyday…
Whilst working from home
And at last, I understand why tradesmen on building sites
Never bother to quite tune them in properly
Yet another long distance lorry driver pulls into a lay-by in tears…
To text in, upon hearing an emotional song
A discussion on crisp pack sell-by dates, interspersed with old kids TV themes

Inspiring the next generation…

The revival of something not much good in the first place, gathers momentum
While original mods attach mirrors to mobility scooters
I can’t help but worry about whether the mods, skins and rude boys of tomorrow…
Will dress in Andy Murray polo shirts
Singer/songwriters’ collaboration threats
Having reached retrospective points in their careers
Self promotion reminiscent, of wind-chimes in a hurricane

Inspiring the next generation…

Sport can still unite as I’m sure it will forever
‘Cause when things don’t go your way, it’s nice to boo together

Considering it’s the age of the conspiracy theory…
I’m surprised no-one’s questioned how the fella off The Apprentice got the Countdown job
Of course, I’m all for re-cycling, but I just reckon bags for life
Should become cheaper as you get older
The decline of social drinking, replaced by the more affordable
junk food escape route
Deep Pan’s People, Greggs & Co! The Gastric Band are this weeks Top of the Ops

Inspiring the next generation…

A scuffle breaks out in the record store day queue
Highlighting the competitive pursuit of vinyl rarities
My time’s often spent trying to get my head round the fact, that
Sam Smith sells more records than TV Smith
I’m at least temporarily buoyed by the imminent arrival…
Of +2 channels… and bird flu
Nom nom, bake off, hit me with your selfie stick, leopard print onesie!

Inspiring the next generation…

Inspiring the next generation…


released October 3, 2016
Written and performed by Ian Passey
Produced by Mick Lown



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The Humdrum Express Kidderminster, UK

The musical vehicle for (in)sensitive singer/songwriter Ian Passey. Acerbic acoustic pop.
Up-tempo exasperation, poetic put-downs and bitter-sweet tales of delusion.

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