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E​-​Petition

by The Humdrum Express

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Eveshambaggy
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richard mcdonald
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Bones
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Loz Youngs
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crackity jones
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Kieran Lamb
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Paul Dredge
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Steve Jones
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pideyband72
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tasker1305
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opeck7
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pajervis
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dirkgently68
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Micky Ross
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/

lyrics

Please note that the filming of tonight’s gig on smart-phones will be ridiculed by the performer…

It has been said, more than once, that I’ve got low aspirations…
But I’ve just never been interested in an early morning scurry for a train whilst carrying a coffee holder
Or being the bloke with a club card on his key ring and a trolley token in his Roy Cropper style wallet
Or the man who wears shorts for 10 months of the year and then dons a wetsuit to have a paddle
Whenever I’m near the coast, I spend time wondering why you’ll always find someone vacuuming in a seaside arcade
Which takes my mind off the perplexing rise of the “half and half” football scarf wearer
I guess, in many ways, I’m just a free spirit… and if anyone happens to be in any doubt, I’ve got the Stonehenge solstice selfies to prove it

Don’t stop me I’m on a mission
Gonna start an e-petition!

Welcome to the great streaming debate where those who claim “If I like something, I buy it” appear to be drowning out the musicians hoping to air their 0.003 penneth worth
Don’t know about you, but I’ve given up on eating out these days
It’s not just the expense, I can’t face being told to “enjoy” as my order’s delivered to the table.
I collected a parcel from the sorting office last week and was given the same cringeworthy command.
He wasn’t to know it was a home dentistry kit, but that’s exactly my point!
To make matters worse, I returned home to find my hurried parking had been photographed and posted on a local busybody’s social media group.
Named, shamed, and hung out to dry!

Don’t stop me I’m on a mission
Gonna start an e-petition!

Gonna start an e-petition
To stop spam from e-petitions x2

Share your troubles they say…
But I’m not ready to reveal details of the time I got run over by a smart car whilst ironically sporting a Kylie and Jason top on Wear Your Old Band T-shirt To Work Day.
These are difficult enough times as it is - I sold a guitar on eBay recently
No feedback from the buyer, but then it was only an acoustic…

Don’t stop me I’m on a mission
Gonna start an e-petition

Gonna start an e-petition
To stop spam from e-petitions x4

credits

released October 11, 2017

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The Humdrum Express Kidderminster, UK

Regularly championed by BBC 6 Music and famed for withering critique, The Humdrum Express breezily delivers offbeat observation, social commentary and sharp wit; fused with familiar cultural references, surreal characters and subtle puns.

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